smokeblog

Sunday, April 07, 2002

 
Day 54
Nope, haven't posted in a bit. I think that's mostly because the violent physical urges have all but disappeared, and all that's left is this sad sort of yearning, which is really hard to put into words. I barely think about smokes for the bulk of the day, but then once i'm out, at a cafe, or sitting by the canal with a drink and with friends who are invariably smoking... that's when things start to suck unbelievably. Sometimes i can't think of anything else, i can't even follow the conversation. A lot of the time i have to excuse myself and run away. Fast. I've had two slips, but i don't want to think about that. They were gross and i feel horrible about it now. As usual i blame it all on the wine.

But i bought new sandals, reassuring myself that i paid for it with the money i saved in the last 2 months.
2:26 PM